Detox Diaries # 2

     . . .Abnormal in some innate way. In my grade school days, it was unanimously decided by a large portion of my peer group that I would never be accepted into their ranks. New schools, neighborhoods, clothes, attitudes, approaches¾none of that mattered. I was always the odd one out wherever I went. I never knew why. I still don’t know why. I also never knew if I was constantly relegated to the fringes of social life because I was different (cuz different is bad, m’kay?). Or if the “blacklisting” came first, which led me to believe that I was totally OTHER and that there was something that I had yet to realize about myself.
People would probably be wondering, “Why in the world are you writing about all that in your late 20’s? It’s simple: that whole dynamic I just described is still in effect AND it’s actually gotten advanced as the years have gone by. What was once a split between personality types has transformed into a chasm between worlds and now there’s almost nothing my “peers” and I have in common.
This is quite the opposite of what I spent 13+ years waiting for: graduation, and then entering into a larger world where I’d have better chances of linking up with different kinds of people. I had hopes of finally finding a group to belong to after school was over. Needless to say, that plan was an EPIC FAIL. Welp . . .guess I’m forever screwed on the social front.
I guess that years of social exclusion could leave a mark on anybody. But that’s OK. My home life more than made up for any lack of interpersonal relations. Oh, wait . . .


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