The summer of 2014 was a rather miserable one for me. It was hot and humid. All of my clothes were still a bit too tight because I had waited too late into the year to resume my Insanity workout regimen and failed to lose any real weight. Worst of all, I had been saddled with the 5’10” parasite that I shall refer to as R − wait a second. There’s no need for the first initial game here. The person I’m about to discuss is totally computer illiterate so there’s no risk of him ever reading any of this.
Anyway, Rashib (real name) was the most pathetic “man” I had ever met in my life. He was in his early forties with no gainful employment or place to live and he’d been living that way since years before our first meeting. (Yeah, we had crossed paths several years before. It was a totally different time.) He had a lot of undiagnosed mental and emotional problems which made him highly unstable and hugely irritating. Trying to befriend someone like this was one of the other reasons I had not managed to shed any pounds: my eating habits had gone to crap. Dealing with his increasingly invasive presence in my life was incredibly stressful and I often found myself turning to so-called comfort foods to cope. I was also spending hours upon hours just zoning out when I should have been working.
But I digress. Rashib’s mountain of issues (that he took absolutely no responsibility for, I might add) came together to create the ultimate man-child: overly emotional, irresponsible, clingy, irrational, and hopelessly dependent on a substance to avoid facing his inner demons. Seriously, he smoked marijuana like it was crack. I’d never seen anybody regularly light up THAT many blunts in one day.
It really is a shame because I honestly think he could have had a bright future in sales or some other line of work that was heavily people-oriented. He was extremely sociable and always seemed to be tuned in to the people around him. He was also able to charm people quite easily . . .at least at first. Putting people at ease until it was too late was probably how he was able to always have someone to prey upon. And I could live the rest of my life in peace if I never had to see his face again.
At this point, anyone reading this might ask themselves why I would even be writing about someone I have such a low opinion of. Well, the truth is that his colossal waste of life taught me a valuable lesson last summer. Through him I was able to learn all about people who have no real goals, aspirations, or purpose for their lives. I learned all about how people who lack future vision merely exist from day to day. The whole experience made me reflect on my own former existence without such things.
Of all the things I learned last year the most important was this: if you are a person with goals or a purpose, then you MUST NOT spend extended amounts of time with people who are not. This also applies if you are at least actively seeking to become such a person. Don’t have them around. Don’t invite them into your space. And for the love of all that’s good and holy, DON’T include them in any plans you may have when it comes to fulfilling your hopes and dreams! Just give people like that a wide berth. Say “hello”, say “goodbye”, and keep it movin’. It’s almost a guarantee that all the purposeless will do is bring ruin to whatever it is you’ve got going on.
Purposeless people are generally miserable in life and misery, as they say, loves company. I should know as I was never truly at peace during my own days of purposelessness. The only difference was that I wasn’t a nuisance, nor did I try to bring trouble to others. People in such a state have a plethora of ways to distract themselves from . . .themselves. They’ve got gossip, drugs/alcohol, sex, other people, social media, and all other manner of stupid, time-wasting things. They don’t like being alone because they don’t like themselves. A lot of them are really insecure due to the fact that they have no idea who they are or what their reason for living is. It all adds up to one miserable existence. I wasted half of last summer with Rashib and spent good eight years of my life in this state; I know what I’m talking about.
I had always heard people say that you shouldn’t hang out with losers and do-nothings if you ever hope to become a somebody in the world while I was growing up. However, no one ever really explained why. Boy, do I ever get it now. I even get how those with no purpose go about bring the chaos, confusion, and destruction that constantly nips at their heels right to your doorstep. It’s quite the show to have front row seats at.
*Why The Purposeless Must Be Avoided*
They will feed on you. Your time, energy, money, space, and any other resource you have at your disposal. They will be making damn sure they get a piece of it whether you like it or not. And believe me when I tell you that you won’t like it. Getting fed on has several symptoms: agitation, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, loss of motivation, feeling drained, being stressed out. (Sounds an awful lot like depression, doesn’t it?) The more they feed, the weaker you’ll become. By the end of July 2014, I was suffering from a mental exhaustion which took me a full month to shake.
They will erode your boundaries. Since your energy is being drained, you will have less energy to maintain them. I personally went from feeling hassled, to bothered, to pestered, to harassed, and then to straight-up invaded as Rashib laid claim to more and more of my space. And what follows an invasion of this nature? Why, more feeding of course! This is how my own invasion went.
*Constant (and unwelcome) touching.
*Calling me several times a day without ever having anything important to say. There was even one time he called me up crying! The hell?!
*Tagging along uninvited whenever I went somewhere and then begging for stuff.
*Showing up at my job and then following me home.
` *Showing up to my house.
*Actually in my flippin’ house then asking to come up to my bedroom. Aw hell naw! That was where I firmly put my foot down. My room was the only place I had left that was all mine and he was NOT invited!
They both love AND hate you for who you are. How does that old song go? “There’s a thin line between love and hate.” What I mean by that is the same attributes that drew the purposeless one to you are the same ones that will eventually make them turn on you. It creates a conflict within them. They might openly celebrate betting to share space with someone so full of light. But they’ll still try to snuff it out. (How dare you be happy and at peace in their presence?!) It’s almost a given that they are going to lash out at you at some point for a variety of reasons: jealousy, envy, insecurity. It all boils down to you’re different from them and that makes them uncomfortable. Saying passive-aggressive crap like ‘you think you’re so much better than me’ is an attempt to bring you down to their level since they won’t (or can’t) rise to yours.
In my case, Rashib resented the fact I would constantly refuse to waste time doing pointless activities with him. No, I was not going to ride the bus out toBuckroe Beach with this idiot at 8:30 at night. I had things to do, damnit! I paid for such refusals in the form of the sub par treatment I endured at his hands. I was bullied, badgered, and ordered around which I found confusing at first. It took me a while to understand why someone who regularly claimed to love me and often told me I was his best friend could treat me so poorly. Perhaps he did . . .in his own twisted and dysfunctional way. I guess love and hate get all switched around in the heads of mentally unstable individuals.
They will use emotional manipulation to get what they want. There’s a really interesting story behind how I figured out that this had been happening all along. It is a moment I will always remember in all its sickening clarity. Stay tuned.
Most can’t understand logic and reason to save their lives. That’s why they take the emotional route instead. Logic and reason are simply beyond them and make them uncomfortable. Rashib would get angry and defensive whenever I would grill him about subjects that forced him to think about his actions or lack of care and foresight. Oh no, he was none too happy with me when I asked him about:
*why he was treating me more like a personal assistant than a friend
*why he was already flat broke on July 4th when he had received his EBT/benefits only three days prior
*why he had been walking around with “bipolarism” (yes, I know it sounds like BS) for years without seeking any sort of treatment. “Do you have any idea how irresponsible that is?!” I remember raving at him. I was in rare form that day.
I’m well aware that most people without purpose are nowhere near this extreme. But sometimes, we need to see just how bad things can really get to learn lessons of vital importance. Dear people of WordPress and Facebook, if you have any sort of future visions for your life, stay the hell away from the blind. I implore you.